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slayerofevil:

scattermind:

ultramikahd:

pikestaff:

peterslist:

sachertortes:

I really wish there was an option on those Customer Service Surveys that says specifically, “The representative I spoke to was lovely and helpful and deserves all of the raises but I think that you, as a corporation, should die in a fire.”

hey as somebody who works in one of those companies that sends out those surveys, never, NEVER mention how much you hate the company in them. just talk about the representative. then, go to the company’s social media page and blast your bad reviews there

those surveys decide our pay, they decide whether we get bonuses or not, they decide if we get to keep our jobs or not. i’ve read transcripts on surveys where it’s has been praising the representative but mentioned one bad thing about the company. that fell to the representative because they should have been enough to sway the customers opinion.

Hey just to add on, if you liked the representative, and the survey is asking for opinions on a scale of 0-10… please give the rep 10′s across the board.  Don’t try to be thoughtful and detailed and put down a 7 or an 8 or a 9.  A lot of times anything below a 9 or 10 counts as a zero (no, for real) and guess who it comes back to?  That’s right, the customer service rep.

At my job anything below a 10 is zero and our store is graded on our survey % so if anyone even puts 9s across the board it’s a 0 in the end and heavily brings down our stores score- which can lead to firings,

corporations: more horrible than i thought

Reiterate: Always score those surveys as 10s. Blast the company itself on social media.

(via edgebug)

Jan 12, 2019

What was the biggest lie you ever got away with?

reddit-tales:

Don’t think it’s the biggest, but a favorite of mine:

7th Grade English, we have a project to pick any long novel, read it and do an oral book report to the class with a Q&A. I pick The Shining, and had I given it a shot I would have realized it’s a page turner, but to 7th grade me it just looks like a long ass book that is not as fun as video games.

The Teacher set aside a few minutes of each class for us to just sit and read our book. Leading up to the deadline, she sees that I haven’t read very much, and keeps badgering me that I need to be reading more at home. I keep assuring her that I’m a fast reader, I’ll catch up quickly, I’ll get it done, etc.

Cut to the day before my presentation: I have read jack shit. I, of course, rent the movie instead. I watch it TWICE just to be sure.

I do my presentation, being as vague about the plot as I can get away with, and throw in some BS about my opinions on Stephen King’s writing style that I looked up on the internet. I take questions from my classmates, no problem.

But Teacher appears skeptical this whole time. I mean, there is a very popular movie based on this book, and I was not on pace to have any chance at finishing this thing…it doesn’t take a genius to be suspicious. And I know we have to end by letting HER ask a question, so I’m a little worried. Finally, I ask her for her question.

Teacher: “Yes, Orange_Kid, I was wondering if you could tell us some of the major differences between the book and the movie.”

FUCK! My heart sinks for just a moment, and then I come up with it:

“I’m sorry, I don’t know…..I never saw the movie.”

I am terrible at thinking on my feet, so I’m proud of that moment.

(Source: reddit.com, via hartboiledegg)

Jan 12, 2019

2019 Wild Ride Master Post

captainsnoop:

captainsnoop:

captainsnoop:

captainsnoop:

captainsnoop:

captainsnoop:

image

WE’RE ONLY 11 DAYS IN BABY 

the day is literally not even over and i got something else to add:

  • The Mary Sue publishes an interview with Dwayne Johnson claiming that he thinks “snowflake culture” is “taking us backwards,” The Rock responds on Instagram claiming that the interview was completely fabricated.

adding this to the post for posterity:

im going insane

just playing catchup. zero days have passed since the creation of this post. 

more catch-up

(via edgebug)

Jan 12, 2019
cameoappearance: “ jumpingjacktrash: “ the45thpresidentialruger: “Never talk to me or my 42 trees again ” it amuses me to see people being surprised/impressed/amused by this setup, because it’s extremely common on the plains. if you don’t plant a...

cameoappearance:

jumpingjacktrash:

the45thpresidentialruger:

Never talk to me or my 42 trees again

it amuses me to see people being surprised/impressed/amused by this setup, because it’s extremely common on the plains. if you don’t plant a windbreak, your heating and cooling bills are huge, and storms do things like throw the lawnmower through the living room window, take the roof off, or cake the entire north side of the house with six inches of solid ice.

evergreens remain bendy even in the coldest weather, so – wait, no, not the coldest. i remember when i was a kid it got down to like -45 and the norway pines around my house were cracking like gunshots as the sap froze.

maples, incidentally, make that noise around -20f, and i hear it at least once every winter here in southern minnesota. but i only ever heard norway pines make it that one time.

so anyway that’s why we plant pine trees around our houses. because otherwise the wind would freaking kill us.

This is informative and perfectly sensible under the circumstances but I also cannot resist the temptation to compare it to planting stuff all around the boundary of your lot in The Sims

(Source: odge1492, via dingdongyouarewrong)

Jan 12, 2019

honestlynatalie:

geographykhaleesi:

glumshoe:

My grandmother is a bitter old crab with nothing good to say about anything, but she does have a few good stories. She confronted the woman my grandfather had been cheating on her with - this other woman had no idea he was married, and was righteously angry.

The two of them schemed together. My grandfather’s mistress drove her convertible to the construction site where he was working. As he approached the car, she said, “Why didn’t you tell me you were married?”

“Married?! I’m not married!” he said.

My grandmother sat up in the back seat, where she’d been lying down, and said, “You won’t be for much longer.”

HOLY SHIT

This is a Country song.

(via justaspacecase)

Jan 12, 2019

sunflowerbutch:

redwall mouse mothers naming their children: i think i’ll call them john and george

mole mothers: i think i’ll call them scrimmy bingus and crungy spingus

weasel mothers: i think i’ll call them bloodwart and pissdeath

(via dingdongyouarewrong)

Jan 12, 2019

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